.
From UPS:
UPS Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics
about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.Now that is a terrific record don't you think? Too bad we can't fly UPS....
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground..
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P:Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget. _________________________________________________
Here's a couple sites that tells you all those key steps to make characters....
http://www.spike-jamie.com/alt-codes.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Type-Emoticons
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You got
to see this! Be sure to wait the 30
seconds!
This
is really
neat!
|
I know this is not new, but I still like it...
WET
PANTS
Come with me
to a third grade classroom..... There is a
nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of
a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and
the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his
heart is going to stop because he cannot
possibly imagine how this has happened. It's
never happened before, and he knows that when
the boys find out he will never hear the end of
it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak
to him again as long as he
lives.
The boy
believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his
head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this
is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes
from now I'm dead
meat.'
He looks up
from his prayer and here comes the teacher with
a look in her eyes that says he has been
discovered.
As the
teacher is walking toward him, a class mate
named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is
filled with water. Susie trips in front of the
teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water
in the boy's
lap.
The boy
pretends to be angry, but all the while is
saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you,
Lord!'
Now all of a
sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule,
the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher
rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts
to put on while his pants dry out. All the other
children are on their hands and knees cleaning
up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful.
But as life would have it, the ridicule that
should have been his has been transferred to
someone else -
Susie.
She tries to
help, but they tell her to get out. You've done
enough, you
klutz!'
Finally, at
the end of the day, as they are waiting for the
bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie
whispers back, 'I wet my pants once
too.'
May God help
us see the opportunities that are always around
us to do
good..
--------------------------------------------------------
PANTS
Come with me
to a third grade classroom..... There is a
nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of
a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and
the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his
heart is going to stop because he cannot
possibly imagine how this has happened. It's
never happened before, and he knows that when
the boys find out he will never hear the end of
it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak
to him again as long as he
lives.
The boy
believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his
head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this
is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes
from now I'm dead
meat.'
He looks up
from his prayer and here comes the teacher with
a look in her eyes that says he has been
discovered.
As the
teacher is walking toward him, a class mate
named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is
filled with water. Susie trips in front of the
teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water
in the boy's
lap.
The boy
pretends to be angry, but all the while is
saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you,
Lord!'
Now all of a
sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule,
the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher
rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts
to put on while his pants dry out. All the other
children are on their hands and knees cleaning
up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful.
But as life would have it, the ridicule that
should have been his has been transferred to
someone else -
Susie.
She tries to
help, but they tell her to get out. You've done
enough, you
klutz!'
Finally, at
the end of the day, as they are waiting for the
bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie
whispers back, 'I wet my pants once
too.'
May God help
us see the opportunities that are always around
us to do
good..
--------------------------------------------------------
Ok you have to watch this one it is amazing!!!
– What is a "Murmuration? When referring to Starling's it is the fast movement and sound these amazing birds make.
A real mystery of
nature:
No one
knows why they do it. Yet each fall, thousands of starlings dance in the
twilight above England and Scotland.
The birds gather in shape-shifting flocks called "murmurations," having migrated
in the millions from Russia and Scandinavia to
escape winter’s frigid bite. Scientists aren’t sure how they do it, either. The starlings' "murmurations" are manifestations of swarm intelligence, which in different
contexts is practised by schools of fish, swarms of bees and colonies of ants.
As far as I am aware, even complex algorithmic models haven’t yet explained the
starlings’ aerobatics, which rely on the tiny birds' quicksilver reaction time
of under 100 milliseconds to avoid aerial collisions—and predators—in the giant
flock.
Despite
their tour de force in the dusky sky, starlings have declined significantly in
the UK in recent years, perhaps because of a decline
in suitable nesting sites. The birds still roost in several of
Britain’s rural pastures, however, settling down to
sleep (and chatter) after their evening
ballet.
Two young
ladies were out for a late afternoon canoe ride and fortunately one of them
remembered to bring her video camera. What they saw was a wonderful murmuration
display, caught in the short video - URL is below. Watch the variation of colour
and intensity of the patterns that the birds make in proximity to one other.
And take a look at the girl in the bow of the canoe watching the aerial
display. Enjoy.
http://vimeo.com/31158841
---------------
Posts
Hi Debb! LOVED the mouse in the cockpit, etc., etc... And LOVED the murmuration! Never heard the term before, but my gosh, it looked AMAZING! ~tina
ReplyDeleteTina, wasn't that amazing, I had never heard it before either and then I was surfing and there it was I loved it.. :) Thanks for being my faithful commenting follower... :)
ReplyDeleteDebb